New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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