Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
