Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
