somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
