I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
