The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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