Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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