if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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