There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
