i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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