I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
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