Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
