Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Terrible idea I love it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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