How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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