just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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