um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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