hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
