Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
