your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
