I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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