ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize