Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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