the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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