with your own penis?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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