He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
