And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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