brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
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