I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
