yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
