about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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