That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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