Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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