if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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