This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
