Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
