ugly people sure do ruin things
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
