The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
