I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize