I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
