I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize