whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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