I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize