She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
