I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
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I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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