i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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