he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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