Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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