she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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