Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
