You're so nebulous sometimes
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
