i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
