Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
