wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
