And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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