the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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