once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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