I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
