I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
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On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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