I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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