We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
