His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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